Dragged to the ditches

For long, I have kept things burried deep inside me, and suddenly I have discovered that it is breaking me, tearing me apart from the inside and scattering my soul, it is shredding me. Suddenly I have discovered that things do not work that way. Isolation only leads to depression, that overpowering sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The depression takes of over all your senses, robbing you of the ability to think straight. And the funny thing is, I am not isolated, not at all. I have a great family, an amazing twin and friends I can confide in. But for years, I have built walls around myself and now, those walls have grown a little too high and a little to strong to break down and peel off. Those walls trap me inside now, becoming my very cage, how ironic. I feel suffocated now, my breath coming out in harsh gasps. I can’t break free, no matter how much I try to. Talking, opening up, baring my soul to soemone just doesn’t come easy to me. Especially now that I have secluded myself , since forever. I know I have people who wouldn’t judge me for anything and everything I have to say, if only I could find the courage to speak out. I have always been independent, handling my issues, taking my decisions. And I have always admired that about myself. But maybe my independence is what dragged me into this isolation. Maybe sometimes, what we like the best takes us to the worst. 

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